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Work Lessons From My Three-Year-Old

By Rebekah Page-Gourley posted 09-08-2015 08:33

  

It’s been a year since I reflected on how the lessons I’ve learned from parenthood could be applied in the job context. My now three-year-old has a whole lot more to share, even beyond his views on T-Rexes (the BEST), cupcakes (even better than T-Rexes), and how many books he should get to read at bedtime (five … hundred). Here are a few more kernels of toddler wisdom I’ve picked up along the way:

  • Really listen. “Mama, where are you?” My son asked me that question a few weeks ago, when I was sitting directly across from him at breakfast. I was, of course, on my smartphone, reading an e-mail that could easily wait or mindlessly scrolling through my Facebook feed. It was a kick in the gut. Distraction is damaging to all relationships, including working ones. Really listening goes beyond putting your phone down during meetings. It means looking people in the eye and taking the time see where they’re coming from. Work hard to cultivate a reputation for being open, attentive, and available.

     

  • Be a master of misdirection. We’re all set to go to the playground, but suddenly the sky opens up … and then the real waterworks start. That’s my cue to pull out the paints, put on a puppet show, sing in a monkey voice—essentially do everything short of spinning plates and swallowing a flaming sword—to calm the storm. This approach is almost failsafe with a three-year-old (if you have the energy to pull it off), but I think the idea can be useful on the job too. I’m not saying to avoid or hide real problems at work, but if people are getting hung up on something unimportant or tangential, change the conversation.

     

  • Be upset when it’s justified. A few weeks ago, my son and I went to see the new Pixar movie, Inside Out. In the movie, the main characters are anthropomorphized emotions controlling the actions and memories of an 11-year-old girl from inside her head. The girl’s parents constantly try to keep sadness at bay by asking her to look on the bright side. But once the girl’s parents acknowledge her sadness, she works through it and ultimately feels joy again. This isn’t really a parenting lesson; it’s a human lesson. If we don’t acknowledge when something bad happens, ill feelings will just fester. Better to give whatever it is (a hard loss, a disgruntled client, a bad day in court) the attention it deserves instead of sweeping it under the rug.

     

  • Know your audience. My son knows that what works for grandma won’t work for mom, and what works for mom won’t always work for dad. So he uses a variety of tones and negotiating tactics to lodge his litany of requests. With my husband, he likes to play up how good he’s been alllll day, citing specific examples. With me, he likes to lay it on thick with hugs, “pleeeeeases,” and “I love you’s.” With grandma, all he has to do is ask. If you need something at work, make sure you’re presenting your request in a way that plays well with your audience. Some people just want the big picture, while others need you to spell it out. Feeling out different communication styles is key to getting what you want.

     

  • Snacks solve everything. Don’t work through lunch, don’t try to be eloquent on an empty stomach, and whatever you do, don’t underestimate the power of food to help you win friends and influence people. The best meetings have snacks, in the playroom or the boardroom. 
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