Up against a big deadline? Have a big motion hearing or trial coming up? How are you holding up? If you’re on edge, not sleeping, crabby, eating poorly, or drinking too much caffeine—keep reading. There are techniques to help.
No doubt, preparing for a big event is stressful. This past November, as I prepared for ICLE’s Family Law Institute, I realized I was doing a really poor job of managing my stress. Specifically, I was
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Micromanaging every task, even administrative—were the signs ordered or did we have enough food?
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Grazing on candy or other junk food during the day, stopping only to drive to the closest fast-food restaurant
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Drinking coffee, coffee, and more coffee
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Countering the caffeine with a glass of wine or two at the end of the day to help me sleep
My stress management techniques were not working for me. I found myself wondering whether I could change my behavior and how I handled stress. Surprisingly, I found that the answer was a resounding yes. According to Justin Menkes, author of the book Better Under Pressure, and the subject of How To Train Yourself to Be Cool Under Pressure, an article by Jessica Stillman, the secret is practice and preparation. One way to do that, says Menkes, is to purposely put yourself in situations that elevate your sense of "stretch" (outside of your comfort zone), but that don’t feel so over the top that you can’t handle them. The idea is that the successes you have during the stretch situations cause you to associate a feeling of confidence the next time you are under pressure.
Another technique, suggests Thomas J. Watson at Wisconsin Lawyers Mutual Insurance Company, is to take a step back and asses what is happening. In his article Managing Risk: Lawyers Managing Stress and Anxiety, Watson explains that lawyers often just push forward without taking time to stop and reflect. Taking the time to do something else, like exercise or engage in a hobby, can help provide some needed perspective—like realizing that some matters are not as important as we think they are. Clearing your head will allow you to be more fresh and focused when you do return to the task at hand. Bottom line, a balanced lifestyle is critical, as indicated in my colleague Rachael Taylor’s latest blog, Self-Care Is Key to Client Care in Family Law.
Finally, check out these top 10 tips from Rick B. Allen for managing stress. Many are common-sense tips like watching your diet and exercising regularly, but other suggestions may just be things that you haven’t considered before—like meditation, deep breathing, and self-talk. One technique I was happy to see on the list and one that I use often is sharing your stress with someone. No matter which technique you try, here’s to a less-stressed future.