I’m currently struggling with how to get an elderly parent to stop driving. I’m not alone in this matter—across the country, Baby Boomers everywhere are facing the same issue with their aging parents. Do you know what to say if a client asks you about options?
While some states have shorter renewal periods for driver’s license renewal, Michigan does not. If an elderly parent isn’t safe driving but refuses to stop, here are some options:
Talk to them. The first step is, of course, is to share your concerns with mom or dad about their driving and ask them to stop. It’s not easy—Baby Boomers said asking a parent to stop driving was more difficult to talk about than other touchy topics like funeral wishes or selling the house, according to a 2008 Caring.com Mature Drivers Survey, conducted in partnership with the National Safety Council.
The Alzheimer’s Association website has great resources for how to talk to an unsafe driver. There, you can watch how 4 different families approach this tough conversation. There are also tips for having the talk and what to do if it doesn’t go well. The AARP also has an online seminar about talking to seniors about driving.
Contact the doctor. If the unsafe driver still refuses to stop driving, call his or her doctor and explain your concerns. The doctor can evaluate your parent and voice any safety concerns. Physicians and optometrists may—but are not required to—report unsafe drivers to the Secretary of State if there has been an “episode,” which is an “experience derived from” an impairment of a driver’s level of consciousness, driving judgment, or vision. MCL 333.5139.
Find a driving evaluation specialist. If the driver is amenable to it, you can actually get a specialist to evaluate your parent's abilities. Whether you choose a ride-along evaluation or a simulator, you’ll get a clear picture of what his or her limitations are (and hopefully it’ll help your unsafe driver see the light). Click here to find a driving evaluation specialist in your area.
Submit a Referral for Driver Reexamination. You can contact the State of Michigan and request to have a driver evaluated. If you fill out the form, the Michigan Department of State Traffic Safety Division will “conduct a reexamination of a person if there is reason to believe that the person is incompetent to drive a motor vehicle or is afflicted with a mental or physical infirmity or disability rendering it unsafe for that person to drive a motor vehicle.” You cannot make an anonymous report, but it may be the only way you’ll get your unsafe driver to recognize his or her limitations.
Find alternative transportation that preserves dignity and independence. Your unsafe driver might be refusing to give up the keys out of fear of losing his or her independence. Check for area transportation alternatives so you and the unsafe driver can feel good about transportation options. For example, the Ann Arbor Area Transportation Authority has transportation designed for seniors and people with disabilities. All you have to do is fill out an application, and your unsafe driver doesn’t have to stay home because they can’t drive. You can also contact your local Area Agency on Aging (AAA) for alternative transportation resources—click here to find your region’s AAA.
Disable the car. This is a controversial measure that some desperate relatives have taken. The NPR Car Talk Community has a discussion involving a situation in which an adult grandson considered disabling the car to stop his grandfather from unsafe driving because, as he put it, “I'm not going to take his keys away from him because he'll make my life miserable.” However, if your clients follow all of the advice above, this extralegal option shouldn’t come into play.
For more resources, check out Michigan’s Guide for Aging Drivers and Their Families and the AARP Driving Resource Center for more information. Good luck and safe driving!